


Guilt

by orphan_account



Series: Undone. [2]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: A Sequel, Again, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Rape, Rape Aftermath, just some horrible aftercare, sorry - Freeform, the same warnings apply
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-03 10:15:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10242404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: How do you cope with the morning after?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Won't make much sense if you don't read the previous work, "Discipline".  
> But I guess if you're not okay with reading that (see "Discipline"'s tags) then this is only the fluff after- still pretty dark though.

Dallon was the first to wake up.

A feeling of regret washed over him as he looked at the sleeping boy beside him, who's head was turned to face the wall, purposefully away from his roommate.

It was easy to recall all the events of last night, none of which were particularly nice. It was a nice surprise to have woken up before the alarm, and Dallon promptly but sleepily reached over and turned it off, so that beeping wouldn't interrupt anything. God, he hoped Brendon would be smart enough to stay home today. He hoped that Brendon would be too scared to face college, and just stay home and repair the relationship he never had with Dallon.

Dallon did truly feel bad about the things last night, and actually felt nervous for when Brendon woke up. He hadn't just blown a chance of anything sweet happening with Brendon, he had utterly destroyed it. 

Brendon tends to wake up fifteen minutes before the alarm, giving Dallon fifteen minutes to do, well... whatever until Brendon wakes up. Prepare a speech...? Prepare a bath actually sounded better. If he was lucky, Dallon could talk to Brendon while he was in the tub.

_Haha, there we go, a plan._

Apologise. Bonding time. Wash his hair for him. Establish positive memories. Wrap him up after and treat him with the same carefulness as fragile glass and the same respect you'd give to a king. Give him more hot chocolate. Make him forgive his rapist. 

... _Sure._

Slowly and steadily, Dallon got out of bed, being very cautious not to wake up Brendon. He padded through the hall and into the bathroom again, running some hot water into the bathtub. He dragged his hand down his face in shame and regret as he again tried to process what had happened and what he was going to do.

Dallon felt like they'd gotten lucky with this place, a shower  _and_ bath. It was extremely roomy but held cosiness and warmth, like it was just the right size for two people.

After rummaging through a cupboard, Dallon finally found the bubble bath mixture. It was still unopened, as it had been a Christmas gift to Dallon, and Dallon only took a bath once in a blue moon. It was only quick showers that Dallon took. On the other hand, Brendon loved baths, but was too afraid to take one unless Dallon was out for fear of angering him with spending too long in the tub. Another sickly feeling passed through Dallon as he recalled the extensive rules he gave Brendon.

Dallon fiddled about with it until the bottle opened with a popping noise, and Dallon took a small sniff at it.

The mixture smelt like lavender, and he knew that Brendon was going to love this, having always been a fan of herbal and floral scents. It suited him to be like that, even if the scents were considered "girly". Who cares? Dallon knows that he doesn't, Brendon was perfect like this.

When the water was hot enough, Dallon poured in a small amount of the mixture and let out a small hum of content as bubbles started to form. After the water had risen, it looked picture perfect, like the kind of baths you see in movies. Dallon tested the water, gingerly putting a finger in and was relieved to find that it was a suitable temperature. Then, he ran off to find some clean towels of the best quality. Only the best for Brendon.

Little did Dallon know, Brendon was just waking up, and what happened last night hit him like a hard brick wall. He started sobbing into the bed sheets, and didn't want to touch anywhere the damage had been done as it was still stinging, like a painful physical reminder of the humiliation he suffered through. Everything within the boy faded to numbness as he forced himself to think over the events. Maybe it was the shock, perhaps the anxiety, but he stopped crying and just laid in the bed with his eyes wide open. Dallon was no longer with him, but Brendon could hear some noises coming from the bathroom. Dallon did hear his crying, but ignored that in favour of completing the bath.

With all his bravery (which to be honest, wasn't very much), Brendon got up and walked through, rubbing the tears away from his eyes. Dallon was standing over the bath when Brendon walked in, inspecting the bath quality. When he heard Brendon, he turned around and started apologising profusely.

 "F-fuck, Brendon, I'm so sorry." Dallon stuttered out, looking his smaller roommate right in the eyes. Both of them were tired, and Dallon hadn't really seen Brendon look this shaken up since the blurry memories from when Dallon was drunk. Dallon just felt like he had failed. Saying nothing, Brendon gazed back.

Dallon shakily whispered, "I ran you a bath, by the way..." 

Right in front of his roommate, Brendon began to undress. His movements were far too robotic, but also held fear within them, in the same way one would complete a task with extreme care in case they messed it up.

Dallon watched, but then stepped away a little and closed his eyes, and said "Tell me when you're in."

After some sloshing, Brendon said that he was in. Dallon turned and saw that his roommate's clothes had been discarded on the tiles and Brendon himself was settled in the bath, curiously watching Dallon. The taller man wanted to get closer, so he went over and knelt by the bath, placing his elbows on the edge and resting his head in his hands.

 "I'm sorry-" Dallon started again, but stopping and sighing when the response he got from Brendon was minimal. Instead, Dallon settled on, "Can I wash your hair?" to which Brendon hesitantly nodded, and sunk his head under the water whilst waiting for Dallon. When Brendon surfaced, his hair was soaked and dripping down his face. Dallon slowly poured out some shampoo into the palm of his hand, rubbed it slightly then reached for Brendon's hair. Dallon almost gasped when he touched it, it was so smooth and silky, and he was very gentle with it, gradually making sure every part was washed.

"Can you sink your head under the water again?" Dallon requested- so Brendon sunk his head down, Dallon ruffling his hair until the soap was mostly out. He couldn't help but toy with it, twisting a lock of it around his finger lovingly.

"I'm going to go get towels and a bathrobe now, you can wash yourself if you want, OK?" 

Brendon nodded, and Dallon couldn't shake the horribly guilty feeling he got from Brendon not talking to him. He knew he deserved it though.

Dallon grabbed Brendon's bathrobe, and  _oh God,_ it smelt like him too. When he walked back into the bathroom, Brendon was only sitting there, fiddling with his fingers nervously.

Dallon allowed Brendon to get up, facing away from him, and Dallon handed Brendon a towel, and his roommate winced at the marks he saw on Brendon's skin. Sure, they were pretty, but also non-consensual. It disgusted him to think that Brendon probably despised the marks left, and they also looked painful.

When he knew Brendon was finished getting dried, Dallon held out the bathrobe for Brendon to get into, adjusting it as appropriate.

They walked through and sat on the couch again, and Dallon picked up the book he knew Brendon was reading last night. It had a bookmark carelessly inserted; it had been done a rush, it stuck out to the side.

That's when Dallon got another idea.

He politely asked to read to Brendon, and Brendon agreed. Dallon had actually done quite a lot of reading to people, such as his little cousins, so it made sense that he was able to do it without a stutter. He put on voices for the characters despite knowing nothing about them, and reached the highest point of satisfaction when he got a smirk or even a giggle from Brendon. They were surprisingly close to each other, leaning against each other in a way so that they could both see the book. Dallon was actually really enjoying himself.

Maybe one day, Brendon would be able to fully forgive him, even if not today.

Maybe it would be alright.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of sweet but fucked up, oh well, I hope you enjoyed this little, short one.


End file.
